Recently, I have met with a number of couples that are struggling in their marriage for one reason or another. There seemed to be one major theme in common for each couple however; making some kind of a decision. Because of that, I have been thinking a lot about decisions. In my own experience, it has been really difficult for me to decide what the next step is on our infertility journey. I have learned a remarkable decision making tool from a dear friend and colleague of mine named Paul Jenkins. In order to understand how difficult it is to make a decision, it is critical to understand what the word actually means. He has taught that the word “cision” means “to cut” and depending on the prefix, the word changes. For example, an “in-cision” means “to cut into.” An “ex-cision” means “to cut out.” And listen up now…a “de-cision” means “to cut off.”
To cut off… think about that. Is it any wonder why most of us struggle making decisions? We are literally cutting off another option or choice! For example, if I choose an apple, that really means I am choosing not to have an orange or a banana. I know fertility decisions are much more critical and costly than what fruit to eat. However, the same principle exists. For example, in choosing adoption – does that mean I “cut off” the option of ever having biological children?
Maybe for that moment, it might seem like that. However, this isn’t truth. What if the decision was about how to react to the pain or anguish you are experiencing? Could you decide to have happiness and joy over pain and sorrow? Suddenly, decisions seem much more pleasant don’t they?
My challenge – make a “de-cision” today and every day with the recognition that you are cutting off an option and ask yourself what that decision is giving you instead! Good luck!
By the way, if you would like to learn more tools from my friend Paul Jenkins you can visit his weekly podcast show at www.liveonpurposeradio.com.
Infertelligence 