Lately, I have had many friends attempt IVF and some have been successful and some have not.  If it not being successful isn’t hard enough, you end up being stuck with this huge bill since most insurance companies don’t pay for it and it is all for nothing.  At least, that is what it can feel like.

I found this article online and wanted to share it with you guys so that you can help your own congressmen be aware of the importance and need for insurance companies to help out with infertility treatments.  I was so excited to see this article and really hope that we can move things forward with this. 

Here is the link: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/187328.php

http://www.colinandranie.blogspot.com/  The entry I’m speaking of is the one entitled, “Confessions, are you ready for this?”

I know the heartache of never bearing children is very prominent for many and I would never take that away from any of us.  However, I do believe that becomming a parent comes in many different faces and phases of life.  In August at the National FSA Conference that I spoke at, I was inspired by how many parents became parents and how.

No child that enters into any one of our lives, would see us differently if they knew we loved them and were going to care for them for the rest of their lives.  They would see any one of us as a parent.  I hope that we will all be able to remember that and take the next step in our journey so that we may be able to “become parents.”

I’d love your thoughts and definitions of what a parent is if any of you would like to comment, I will post them here too.  I think your support and ideas of this, could help many so feel free to post.

No stage in this journey is easy or without fear.  It just changes faces is all.  We all need the support and care from others to help us along in our journey.  Keep supporting others and yourself!  Go look through Wemberly Worried – you’ll love it too!

I just seriously feel so lucky that we live in a time where medical procedures like IVF is possible, let alone successful for the most part.  The article talks about all the difficulties associated with IVF and the babies care after birth.  Well, seriously if you didn’t know that before you entered into this process, you don’t deserve to have done IVF.  Of course, there are risks and challenges but come on! the ability to even be able to possibly have a child when years ago would have been impossible is a simple miracle!  I am so grateful for this miracle in my life and hope that those of you who take this path, will be grateful for the outcome!

www.nytimes.com/2009/10/11/health/11infertility.html and if for some reason this link isn’t working you can find the article at www.nytimes.com and look for the article title: 21st Century Babies: The Gift of Life & Its Price.

You can find the podcast at www.liveonpurposeradio.com Click on Enter Site at the bottom of the page and then scroll down the page until you find their show dated July 9th, 2009 entitled, “The Marvelous Journey Home.”

Yet for most of us, it is.  Fear always wins.  I’ve posted many entries about the differences between faith and fear and the fact that they cannot exist together.  Another thought I would love to share while going through this journey with you and feeling these same things is that you have to choose.  Choose an option and move ahead – don’t doubt it or feel guilty about it.  Next, if your option comes in a different package than you expected or even wanted – work on embracing it instead of shunning it.  I heard a religious quote once that I loved that says, “calmness is the way that we show that we are trusting in God” 

I know this is a horrible time for most going through this.  Yet, our reaction to it is what I truly believe is the miracle of this.  Infertility is random but our reaction to it is individual.

One last closing quote I wanted to share about this topic is by Albert Einstein.  I love him because my husband loves him.  It says, “There are only two ways to live… one is as though nothing is a miracle… the other is as if everything is.”

It is truly amazing to me that health care in different countries is so incredibly different.  I mean, countries in Europe are now offering free IVF?  Yet other countries, won’t pay a single dime of infertility costs.  It is amazing to me!

This was one of our biggest and most difficult decisions in doing IVF because of the cost and then not being guaranteed anything!  I think emotionally this was difficult because I would see many families not able to take care of their children and wonder why they got to have children and we didn’t.  It is so difficult emotionally to understand this concept but my advice – DON”T PERSONALIZE other people’s situations.  They don’t have anything to do with you.  Stay out of that trap that can bind you to a road of bitterness toward others. 

Stay focused on you and your situation and do all that you can – even if that mean writing an article in the paper like this woman did.  I loved it!  Good job  Ana Attaran!

I listed the article below so you could all read it yourselves – tell me what you think.

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/health/Babies+those+afford+them/1919535/story.html

What I loved about the conference was the variety of information that was given.  There was vey basic, practical info and also very emotionally supportive information as well.  I loved every minute of it.  I was fortunate enough to go to some of the other classes and realized just how many powerful and amazing people there are that have so much knowledge to share.

I wanted to just quickly discuss again the miracle and blessing of adoption in the lives of so many people.  Adoption is not only a blessing to the adoptive parents but a huge blessing to the child and the biological parents as well. I heard panels of some of the these individuals speak about how wonderful the process of adoption is and how much we have to learn about it to fully understand the gratitude and blessings that come.  I encourage anyone who is considering adoption to research all you can in your local areas and ask questions.  I’d be happy to make any suggestions or referrals of agencies and individuals who can be of help. 

My blessing is that since I started my career, I’ve always had the desire to work with adoption in some way and because of my experience with infertility, now I get to.  What a blessing!

It made me feel so sad to see such pain and hurt for her.  Sometimes it can feel like things will never change and that there isn’t any hope but sometimes rather than give up, we have to just think of other opportunities and options.  Some won’t always sound the most appealing to us or even sound like options we’ve considered but I do know that giving up on communicating about it doesn’t help at all.  In fact, not only is that not a good option for the person themselves but it closes doors of communicating and support in your marriage; which I believe is the  most important factor in surviving this often heart-breaking experience of infertility. 

Always be open to communicating about it and never feel alone.  These resources are available everywhere and are so helpful.  Seek out these sites and gain support for yourselves and provide support for others.  You’ll be amazed at the change in emotion you may have.  There is always a point!