I don’t know about you, but I often feel like what I expected doesn’t actually happen most of the time. I was talking with a close friend of mine the other day who is just getting ready to do their first round of IVF. She expressed how she is concerned that her expectation of IVF and the outcome might not match up. And quite honestly, she is right! Nothing is ever guaranteed. I wish I could answer why things progress for some and why it doesn’t for others. She also expressed to me that she felt guilty about feeling like she wanted to do IVF before they considered adoption. Why guilt? Why should there be guilt there for a wonderful choice and decision? Why is fear more present than faith and belief?
Yet for most of us, it is. Fear always wins. I’ve posted many entries about the differences between faith and fear and the fact that they cannot exist together. Another thought I would love to share while going through this journey with you and feeling these same things is that you have to choose. Choose an option and move ahead – don’t doubt it or feel guilty about it. Next, if your option comes in a different package than you expected or even wanted – work on embracing it instead of shunning it. I heard a religious quote once that I loved that says, “calmness is the way that we show that we are trusting in God”
I know this is a horrible time for most going through this. Yet, our reaction to it is what I truly believe is the miracle of this. Infertility is random but our reaction to it is individual.
One last closing quote I wanted to share about this topic is by Albert Einstein. I love him because my husband loves him. It says, “There are only two ways to live… one is as though nothing is a miracle… the other is as if everything is.”