Hey everybody! I wanted you to check out this interview that I did with Dr. Paul last fall. He just let me know that this has been the most popular download on his podcast. Check it out and let me know what you think!
You can also check out the other shows he has done at www.liveonpurposeradio.com
I recently had the opportunity to do another podcast show with Dr. Paul. On the show we discussed a book called “The Female Brain” by Dr. Louann Brizendine. I fell in love with this book about a year ago and think that this book contains important and helpful information for both men and women. Enjoy the show!
I am so sorry I have been absentee for so long! I have really missed posting here. I appreciate everyone’s emails, comments and support. This has been such a privilege for me to do this website.
Lately, I have had many friends attempt IVF and some have been successful and some have not. If it not being successful isn’t hard enough, you end up being stuck with this huge bill since most insurance companies don’t pay for it and it is all for nothing. At least, that is what it can feel like.
I found this article online and wanted to share it with you guys so that you can help your own congressmen be aware of the importance and need for insurance companies to help out with infertility treatments. I was so excited to see this article and really hope that we can move things forward with this.
Here is the link: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/187328.php
Today, I wanted to post a blog address and entry for you to read over. This is from a dear friend of mine who I love and respect so much. I have valued her friendship and support for so long along this road of infertility and therefore I wanted to pay tribute to her. In this entry, she is honest, open and truthful about her journey of infertility. I am so proud of her for speaking out and sharing her journey. Nothing is more inspiring to me than honesty and truth about where you are at in life and how you are feeling about this experience of infertility. I truly believe honesty and opening up is powerful. Thank you Ranie for your words and experience. Please enjoy!
http://www.colinandranie.blogspot.com/ The entry I’m speaking of is the one entitled, “Confessions, are you ready for this?”
I’ve recently spent time talking with friends and clients about what the definition of “parent” means. All too often, we get thinking that “parenting” means “giving birth” and it doesn’t. I’ve talked with many adoptive parents and children of adoptive parents over the years and have found absolutely no difference between the definitions or the meaning behind this word.
I know the heartache of never bearing children is very prominent for many and I would never take that away from any of us. However, I do believe that becomming a parent comes in many different faces and phases of life. In August at the National FSA Conference that I spoke at, I was inspired by how many parents became parents and how.
No child that enters into any one of our lives, would see us differently if they knew we loved them and were going to care for them for the rest of their lives. They would see any one of us as a parent. I hope that we will all be able to remember that and take the next step in our journey so that we may be able to “become parents.”
I’d love your thoughts and definitions of what a parent is if any of you would like to comment, I will post them here too. I think your support and ideas of this, could help many so feel free to post.
This is the cutest book ever! The author is Kevin Henkes. As a counselor, I often find myself using this book as a great guide to help children and their parents talk about anxiety and how to work through facing our fears. Months ago, I posted a video called “Facing Our Giants” and I really think it is inspiring. This book is the same for me just on a more “kid-friendly” level. I have noticed that although we may pass through different phases of infertility and the many different emotions that accompany infertility, one does stay constant. That is fear or worry. I think after being told bad news for so long, you really start to get used to the idea of hearing bad news. This doesn’t bode well for moving ahead without fear, panic or worry does it? Anyway, I have multiple postings about facing fears and overcoming fear to move on in the next step of your personal infertility journey and I just thought I would once again, remind you of that.
No stage in this journey is easy or without fear. It just changes faces is all. We all need the support and care from others to help us along in our journey. Keep supporting others and yourself! Go look through Wemberly Worried – you’ll love it too!
I recently read over this and couldn’t really believe what I was reading. What a weird take on infertility and the medical treatment that this woman received. She almost seems unhappy about the path she took in order to have her biological children! I will list the post below for you to read and give your own feedback on.
I just seriously feel so lucky that we live in a time where medical procedures like IVF is possible, let alone successful for the most part. The article talks about all the difficulties associated with IVF and the babies care after birth. Well, seriously if you didn’t know that before you entered into this process, you don’t deserve to have done IVF. Of course, there are risks and challenges but come on! the ability to even be able to possibly have a child when years ago would have been impossible is a simple miracle! I am so grateful for this miracle in my life and hope that those of you who take this path, will be grateful for the outcome!
www.nytimes.com/2009/10/11/health/11infertility.html and if for some reason this link isn’t working you can find the article at www.nytimes.com and look for the article title: 21st Century Babies: The Gift of Life & Its Price.
A dear friend and colleague of mine, Dr. Paul Jenkins has been doing a regular podcast for a few years now. I’ve been able to be featured on a few of them myself and have loved the opportunity to talk with him. He is so inspiring and invested in helping others see the purpose in their lives. I love that so much because when it comes to infertility, I want to support others in finding their purpose in life too! I listened to a podcast of his done in July of 2009 and wanted to share that with you. It is about an hour long so it you can’t listen to it all at once, split up the time and enjoy it. This podcast features a couple who adopted children from Russia and then wrote a book about their journey. Their names are John and Amy Simmons. Enjoy it and be inspired!
You can find the podcast at www.liveonpurposeradio.com Click on Enter Site at the bottom of the page and then scroll down the page until you find their show dated July 9th, 2009 entitled, “The Marvelous Journey Home.”
I don’t know about you, but I often feel like what I expected doesn’t actually happen most of the time. I was talking with a close friend of mine the other day who is just getting ready to do their first round of IVF. She expressed how she is concerned that her expectation of IVF and the outcome might not match up. And quite honestly, she is right! Nothing is ever guaranteed. I wish I could answer why things progress for some and why it doesn’t for others. She also expressed to me that she felt guilty about feeling like she wanted to do IVF before they considered adoption. Why guilt? Why should there be guilt there for a wonderful choice and decision? Why is fear more present than faith and belief?
Yet for most of us, it is. Fear always wins. I’ve posted many entries about the differences between faith and fear and the fact that they cannot exist together. Another thought I would love to share while going through this journey with you and feeling these same things is that you have to choose. Choose an option and move ahead – don’t doubt it or feel guilty about it. Next, if your option comes in a different package than you expected or even wanted – work on embracing it instead of shunning it. I heard a religious quote once that I loved that says, “calmness is the way that we show that we are trusting in God”
I know this is a horrible time for most going through this. Yet, our reaction to it is what I truly believe is the miracle of this. Infertility is random but our reaction to it is individual.
One last closing quote I wanted to share about this topic is by Albert Einstein. I love him because my husband loves him. It says, “There are only two ways to live… one is as though nothing is a miracle… the other is as if everything is.”
I was reading around on the internet today searching for the latest in infertility treatments and news as I often do. In doing so, I found this article printed in the Ottawa Citizen, a newspaper in Ontario, Canada. I loved the article and it’s title so I read and re-read it.
It is truly amazing to me that health care in different countries is so incredibly different. I mean, countries in Europe are now offering free IVF? Yet other countries, won’t pay a single dime of infertility costs. It is amazing to me!
This was one of our biggest and most difficult decisions in doing IVF because of the cost and then not being guaranteed anything! I think emotionally this was difficult because I would see many families not able to take care of their children and wonder why they got to have children and we didn’t. It is so difficult emotionally to understand this concept but my advice – DON”T PERSONALIZE other people’s situations. They don’t have anything to do with you. Stay out of that trap that can bind you to a road of bitterness toward others.
Stay focused on you and your situation and do all that you can – even if that mean writing an article in the paper like this woman did. I loved it! Good job Ana Attaran!
I listed the article below so you could all read it yourselves – tell me what you think.
http://www.ottawacitizen.com/health/Babies+those+afford+them/1919535/story.html
As you know, I had the opportunity to present at the FSA conference over the weekend and I absolutely loved it. I loved the opportunity to share my thoughts on PURPOSE and how to have strong marriages through this really rough process.
What I loved about the conference was the variety of information that was given. There was vey basic, practical info and also very emotionally supportive information as well. I loved every minute of it. I was fortunate enough to go to some of the other classes and realized just how many powerful and amazing people there are that have so much knowledge to share.
I wanted to just quickly discuss again the miracle and blessing of adoption in the lives of so many people. Adoption is not only a blessing to the adoptive parents but a huge blessing to the child and the biological parents as well. I heard panels of some of the these individuals speak about how wonderful the process of adoption is and how much we have to learn about it to fully understand the gratitude and blessings that come. I encourage anyone who is considering adoption to research all you can in your local areas and ask questions. I’d be happy to make any suggestions or referrals of agencies and individuals who can be of help.
My blessing is that since I started my career, I’ve always had the desire to work with adoption in some way and because of my experience with infertility, now I get to. What a blessing!
I was reading through an infertility support blog website this morning called www.fertilitycommunity.com . First of all, I’ve referred this before but I love this site for support and ideas. It is so helpful to talk with others and feel their suport. I’ve gained so much hope from this site and hope that you may as well. Anyway, I was reading through a post and someone who had just started their period after a failed IUI was asking questions like, “why even talk about it anymore? why share things with my spouse about it; nothing ever changes and there is no point anymore.”
It made me feel so sad to see such pain and hurt for her. Sometimes it can feel like things will never change and that there isn’t any hope but sometimes rather than give up, we have to just think of other opportunities and options. Some won’t always sound the most appealing to us or even sound like options we’ve considered but I do know that giving up on communicating about it doesn’t help at all. In fact, not only is that not a good option for the person themselves but it closes doors of communicating and support in your marriage; which I believe is the most important factor in surviving this often heart-breaking experience of infertility.
Always be open to communicating about it and never feel alone. These resources are available everywhere and are so helpful. Seek out these sites and gain support for yourselves and provide support for others. You’ll be amazed at the change in emotion you may have. There is always a point!
